Like many people, Jill can say she is a lot of things: She is a wife. She is a mother of three boys – although she now refers to them as her menfolk. But she is also a veterinarian and a business owner. She is a ballroom dancer, a musician, and a performer. She is a cancer survivor. Most importantly, she is an incredibly blessed person and is also a person with challenges, obstacles, and pressures. She is a person trying to live out her faith. She is a person who tries to be joyful, especially via ballroom dancing!
1. Introduction
Jill describes joy like this: “Everyone likes being happy. It feels good, and it is fun. We seek it, desire it, and work for it, but it is not a choice we make. It is what happens to us. It is fleeting. But joy is the deep well. It is the unshakeable force that keeps us yearning towards what completes us. Joy is also a choice. It is the challenge accepted. Joy is the sustainer, the anchor, and the thing that is worth having over happiness or pleasure because it is not external. Sometimes it does not feel good. It certainly does not mean everything is good all the time. But it cannot be taken away, only given away.” She says that there is one Joy and many others that flow through it and to it. Many of these joys are fulfilled via ballroom dancing!
2. Connections
One of the things that Jill has always valued is connection. Where else can you get a better connection than ballroom dancing? It is one of the few things in life where we can connect with others on every level, and sometimes on all levels at once!
2.1 Physical connection
The physical connection is such a unique being. To be in someone’s personal space and to invite him or her into yours on a plutonic level is something seldom seen. It is equal parts functional and aesthetic. To Jill, it is the medium through which we work this beautiful art called “ballroom dancing.”
The very definition of ballroom dancing requires a partnership. “A dance partnership has such an elegant dichotomy. You need to each be completely responsible for yourself, your space, and your balance and movement. At the same time, you must use that to move seamlessly together as one unit with your partner, making a thousand micro-adjustments, actions, and reactions. Some of them are very intentional, and some you would not even be able to tell when or how they happen, just that they do. It is one of the most difficult things to capture, recognize, and master.”
2.2 Mental and emotional connection
The connection in a partnership, mentally and emotionally, takes years of honing.
Mentally, “leading and following are arts in themselves. But then, to take them into the levels of adjusting on the fly, doing more open work, being more responsive, and learning to move as a unit takes more than just physical touch. It takes total focus. This is one of the things that makes ballroom dancing so unique and freeing. I am free to take a break from everything else that may be going on around me in my life, and for that moment in time, be fully present doing something that brings me great joy.”
Emotionally, the connection is also fulfilling. “It takes knowing the story you are telling, the goal you both try to accomplish and trusting each other to be there for each other and to find each other again. The emotional range of a showcase routine or solo can make quite an arc. Even doing a round of Rhythm or Smooth can be an emotional journey.”
“With the variety of dances and ‘characters’, it can even be a bit of a workout mentally and emotionally.” Jill would not have it any other way. “Not only does it take an intangible connection to be successful on the dance floor, but it is a lot more fun!”
2.3 Connection to the audience
Jill believes that the connection between the performers and the audience is one of the reasons why we are out here in the first place. Certainly, we can ballroom dance purely for social pleasure. But for competitive or showcase dancers, the performance is the thing. That connection is very meaningful to Jill. “We have something to say. A connection to make. An emotion to give and hopefully evoke. We want to make an impact. It is scary to do sometimes, and it is not always easy. When it is firing, it gives back as much as, and sometimes even more than, we send out. To hear that someone was moved in some way by a performance is fulfilling as well as motivating.”
One of the most fun things for Jill is to get that reaction or smile from the crowd. Sometimes, it might be from something very theatrical or dramatic. Sometimes it is very personal. What a beautiful and challenging art form of storytelling – no words needed!
2.4 Connection to each other – the joy of community
The community of ballroom dancing is small, really. It is a rare beast. “Where else can you all come together to compete against each other, cheer each other on, build each other up, catch up with friends, make new ones, and live in a completely different world, set apart from the rest for a moment in time? Where being a lady or gentleman is not only appreciated and expected, but its absence would be immediately apparent and off-putting?”
Jill loves that she can be in a highly competitive situation, yet still see such camaraderie, support, and building up of each other. “I can see comrades from other studios and pick up right where we left off at the last comp. Many of us are on Facebook groups or in workshops together, and it is such happiness to see each other in person. I do not come from a large studio with lots of competitors. It is not uncommon for us to meet up with friends at competitions and be ‘adopted’ for the weekend. We can have a wonderful time even as we line up together on deck to go on the floor competing against each other.” The support Jill can give and receive helps amp up her game, as well. “It causes an extra thrill to hear someone shout our number or react to our dancing. There is nothing in it for them to do so – we are just all in this together, enjoying this complex and fascinating thing called ‘ballroom dancing.’ When so much of the world is set on cutthroat, get-ahead divisiveness, what a precious thing it is to have a community like this!”
3. Where it all began…
“Be a part of this fundraiser for the community,” they said. “It will be fun,” they said. “Your husband told me you would be interested in this.” Little did any of us know!
Jill’s first foray into the world of ballroom dancing was in 2011 as a “celebrity” in a DWTS-style fundraiser called “Still Dancing in Elkhart” for the Samaritan Health and Living Center organization in Elkhart, Indiana.
First foray, for sure! “I felt like a new foal learning to walk and balance, and then try to make it look like something someone would want to watch! Heels! Backwards! Oh my!” It was an honor for her to support the Samaritan Center’s efforts for mental health and wellness in her community. Jill found a new passion in her life in ballroom dancing. She has danced with a new “celebrity” partner herself each year since then. The event that started her on her dance journey has raised over 2.5 million dollars to date.
“There is nowhere else that we dance that is as packed into a space exuding so much love, excitement, and well-wishing for all the dancers on the floor. Everyone in that ballroom is rooting for each couple. The cheers, whistles, and overflowing goodwill are a different beast. We all are ‘competing’ against each other because it is a fundraiser. No matter who raises which amount, we are all in it together, and the Samaritan Center is the winner. The innumerable people whose lives they impact are the winners.”
Not only was this event the spark that lit her passion for dance, but it was part of her healing as well…
4. Adversity – Will there be dancing like there was?
At the end of 2012, Jill and her family received the blind-siding news that she had breast cancer. A maelstrom of emotions and thoughts that she and those dear to her experienced at that time would be difficult to put into words.
During each step of her treatment, reconstruction, and recovery, an incredible network of medical professionals, her husband and family, loved ones, friends, friends of friends, and those who may never be known helped her through this new reality. She will never be able to thank everyone who has and continues to support her.
One of the strands of that net holding her up was ballroom dancing and her community of dancers.
4.1 Journeys
Jill went through multiple surgeries, reconstruction, and additional tumor scares. Now, she continues on her path of healing. “It is kind of like trying to build a sandcastle while the tide is coming in. It is a permanent thing, the changes to your body, to your outlook on life, and to all the things that you can find that are beautiful and precious around you.”
“One of the things that happens with surgery for breast cancer, especially at that time, is curving inward of the chest and upper body due to a natural protectiveness, the scar tissue, contracture of muscles, and the rearrangement of anatomy. A certain amount of feeling is also permanently lost. At one time, I could not raise my elbows level with my shoulders and could not arch my back. With much physical therapy with my OT after surgery and dance, I was able to regain nearly all my range of motion. Dancing became such an important part of that recovery. Once my therapist understood what movement was needed to dance and how it would oppose all those other forces by opening up the upper body again, she cleared me to go back to dance before she would clear me to go to work!”
4.2 Coming back to life
Preparing for that year’s Samaritan Center event and upcoming studio events helped her to feel alive and able to explore and rebuild. There have been other surgeries, procedures, and happenings since then. Each time, dancing has helped her find her way back into her body. “We are often regaled with the physical benefits of dancing, including posture, range of motion, core strength, balance, and more. It is great for strengthening those things. Sometimes, it is great for creating those things.” She knows she is not alone. “So many women in our dance community have had a journey through something like this. How blessed to have studios, dance family, and this community to help us as we move through this journey!”
Physical benefits are hardly the full spectrum of benefits of dancing for Jill. Mental and emotional balance is a thing, and it can be lost, worked towards, and strengthened, like physical balance.
5. It is not all puppies and rainbows
Being a veterinarian and small business owner is not for the faint of heart. Each role has its beautiful, healing, caring, and empathetic rewards. And each is grueling. Veterinary professionals rank among the highest groups for mental illnesses, including a high rate of burnout, anxiety, depression, and suicide. It is a high-stress and exacting career that requires laser focus and lives in scientific realms. At the same time, is a highly emotionally charged profession. Veterinary professionals care for people and their pets on some of their best and some of their most stressful or traumatic days. It takes its toll physically, emotionally, and mentally.
While she cannot imagine doing anything else, it is not all puppies and rainbows. Dancing has been there for her to be able to take off the lab coat and scrubs and step into another part of her being. “Even my hardest, most frustrating days in the studio are a break from my professional life.” She loves getting to use another part of her brain, to move her body in different ways, and to reconnect with herself. “My veterinary dance peeps and I call it the Secret Life of Vets.”
Sometimes, art imitates life, however. During the pandemic, the Samaritan Center could not have an in-person event. So, she and her partner, Jake, decided to show her transformation from doctor to dancer on site, instead!
6. Competitive ballroom dancing
The joy of competitive ballroom dancing began for Jill at the Windy City Open in 2013. It was a huge learning experience. From there, she has continued to hone her skills and artistic side, performing throughout the Midwest. She currently competes in Smooth and Rhythm and spends most of her time in Silver as well as in Open events. While all the altruistic values and fulfillments are there, Jill is still competitive! She wants to do well and accomplish goals at each competition. Sometimes, they are results-driven, such as making it out of a semi-final or placing somewhere, but more often, they are a competition against herself in her own journey and something she is trying to master in her own dancing and partnering. Those are sometimes the most hotly contested!
7. OSB – just wow!
In 2018, Jill and Jacob were invited to participate in the BoB finale in the showdance at the OSB. It was her first appearance at this beloved comp and was a great learning experience as well as an honor!
In 2022, they returned to the OSB and loved the energy and passion of so many amazing dancers of all levels and ages. Thanks to Sam Sodano and his amazing crew every year!
“The Enchantment”’ was their first BoB event. It was a beautiful Viennese Waltz routine that kept them attached via a large fabric piece. They just called her “Flo”. She was like having another person in the dance. She needed choreography worked around her and often had a mind of her own!
8. Jill’s teacher
Jill’s teacher and main partner throughout her dancing career has been Jacob Wilson at Sally Lee’s That’s Dancing in Elkhart, Indiana. He has been her pro/am partner from the start. Over time, their partnership has been melded with chemistry and charisma on the dance floor. He was in the thick of it when Jill did not think she would get her body back or be able to do things she once did. Through dancing, they have proved she could do even more than before!
Jake’s own joy is an example to his students. He strives to protect his students’ joy and what that means for each person. Dancing is a journey, through which he finds fulfillment and joy in meeting everyone where they are on that journey and moving forward with them.
He has never stopped developing himself as a dancer and teacher, including literally putting himself in others’ shoes, to try to better communicate the feel or execution of a concept! The photo below shows Jake did, in fact, put on Latin sandals to help explain foot action in a lesson!
9. Closing
Joy of dancing. The Joy of partnership and connection. Joy of the journey through great hardship. Joy of growth. The Joy of love and family and friends. The joy of making the daily choice to be joyful. Joy of surviving. Joy of thriving. How lucky are we all?
