Amber thought she was probably too old to start dancing at age 40. She thought it would be hard to succeed if you did not grow up dancing. She thought a lot of things that turned out to be just thoughts. The reality is that when you question those thoughts and push the limits of what you think is possible, you can achieve things you never thought possible, such as winning Rhythm at three different levels (Bronze, Silver, and Gold) at the OSB three years in a row (2021, 2022, and 2023), which is exactly what she has done!
1. Introduction
When taking her kids to their orthodontist appointments, Amber would pop her head into the local franchise dance studio on the same floor to see what was going on there. While rarely anyone was there during the day, she could not let it go. One day, she signed up for an introductory lesson, just “for fun.” – It would not amount to much as “I am too old to start dancing at age 40,” she thought. However, she was immediately hooked. Five months later, she signed up with an independent instructor, so that she could move at her racehorse pace. If someone had told her she would keep dancing for many years and soon coach dancers on their mindset, she would have replied: you had her mixed up with someone else! Then again, anything is possible!
2. The first two competitions
When her instructor, Mark Baker, told her she could be ready to compete at the Holiday Dance Classic after just three months of training with him, she thought he was crazy. There was no way! But she put her trust in him and agreed to do it. She found a second-hand dress in a Facebook group, did her own hair, invited a friend to do her makeup, and thought, “Well, here goes nothing.” Her seven years of teaching fitness paid off, as she felt pretty calm going into it. Having people watching her was not a new experience. Nonetheless, the judging part was! She scored quite well for a first-timer but was utterly flabbergasted when she won the Closed-Bronze Rhythm Championship!
After Holiday, she decided to fit one more comp into 2019 and entered the New York Dance Festival. This trip was about fun, as she invited three friends and her husband.
It was also a good thing because the world shut down just a few weeks later, and she would not compete again for another year.
3. Making progress during Covid-19
A racehorse cannot be held back – She did not even slow down! While she did not compete in 2020, even virtually, she never stopped practicing, taking as many weekly lessons as possible. Everyone during that time took advantage of remote lessons and virtual group classes. Her mantra during this period was, “Just keep going.” She was determined to hit the competition floor again, strong in 2021.
4. 2021: going national
2021 started with a bang when Amber came home with two huge trophies and a BoB (Best of the Best) win at Heritage. The BoB was something she had never even heard of. So, when they called her name to dance for 30 seconds of Cha Cha, she did not understand why. She was sure happy when they handed her the big trophy after she won!
2021 was the first year Amber competed at the National level. Embassy, which holds the pro/am World Championships, would be her first. While intimidated, she also loved the energy there: lots of people, lots of high-caliber dancers, and a chance to test her mettle against some of the best in the country! Her expectations were low, but she landed second place in Closed-Bronze! She felt quite hopeful about competing at the OSB, just a few months away.
It is one thing to do well in small comps with a limited number of competitors. It is quite another to compete at the OSB, which draws dancers from all over the country. So, you can expect extra rounds, fierce competition, and new challenges you have never faced elsewhere. But Amber was learning that the energy of a big comp suited her. She was surprised at just how ready she was: She won, placing 1st in Closed-Bronze Rhythm!
This was where she first thought that maybe she had some mental and emotional skills she could pass on to other dancers to help them be successful, too. She thought, “If someone like me can win at the OSB, maybe anything is possible!”
5. Paying it forward through coaching
Around this time, knowing Amber was a life and mindset coach, a friend and fellow dancer reached out to her, asking for help to overcome her performance anxiety. This gave Amber a chance to put her coaching skills to the test and see if she could indeed help other dancers transform their dancing. She started the podcast (“Ballroom State of Mind”) and created a 3-month program that she used to help her friend. Nothing could have prepared her for the fulfillment Amber felt when her friend not only competed again, but also actually enjoyed competing for the first time in many years of dancing. When her friend said, “Amber, you gave me a gift,” she knew she had found her calling and started seeking out more dance clients to serve.
6. 2022: Moving into Silver
Starting out 2022, Amber ventured into Silver. It was humbling to go from feeling quite accomplished in Bronze only to start again in Silver and discover all the new skills needed to be successful. That first comp (Nashville Starz) debuting her Silver was a bit rough. There were surely some doubts about how the year would go and if she would be competitive at the OSB by the end of the year. But anything is possible! So, she put her head down and got to work. She competed in nine competitions that year—the most she had ever done in a year, including three big ones: the Emerald Ball, USDC, and OSB.
6.1 Emerald 2022
She placed 2nd and 3rd in Closed-Silver Scholarships, a strong showing early in 2022!
6.2 USDC 2022
The first time in the USDC, Amber did not know what results to expect. Surely, the competition would be strong. Plus, she had only been dancing Silver for nine months. She placed 4th and 5th, which she felt was appropriate, mostly.
There is nothing like experiencing a National Championship to uplevel your self-concept. Wins and placing well are fun. But every experience provides an opportunity to learn and grow. The most growth usually comes from the most challenging experiences. So, she buckled up and put in extra effort to prepare for her second showing at the OSB.
6.3 OSB 2022
Winning (i.e., placing 1st) at the OSB is a big deal, and anything is possible:
- Some people never win.
- Some people win once, but never again.
- Some people win at one level but do not even make the finals at the next level.
- A few elites (e.g., Giovanni Fortezza and Nichelle Kennedy) “always win.”
There are many variables at work. But some people tend to focus on the wrong things—things outside of their control. Amber did a lot of mindset work and focused on what she could control: herself. She spent the five weeks before OSB 2022, staying focused to improve what skills she could in that time. She did not think about who would be her competitors or any other factors not directly related to strengthening her dancing.
When it was time to sign up for OSB 2022, she and Mark decided to compete in Closed-Silver Rhythm (B), Open-Bronze Rhythm, and Open Rising Star (A) – her first attempt in Open. She would compete with the same routines at all levels and see what would happen. She does not like to defeat herself ahead of time by deciding what might be limiting and hard, or go wrong. Staying open to positive possibilities is her superpower.
She broke out in a sweat as they called out the Closed-Silver B Scholarship placings numbers. Each number that was not hers meant she was one step closer to the top! When they called out second place, and it was not Mark’s number, she knew they had done it – Two wins in two years in a row!
This is where the dream of the trifecta was born!
She would set out to win Gold the next year and prove that what we often think is impossible is just the limits we place on ourselves.
OSB 2022 also brought a win in Open-Bronze. The goal for the Open Rising Star was to make the final, which they did, placing 5th!
7. Pivoting her coaching to dancers
As 2022 ended, Amber had not only competed more than ever and came away with some big wins, but she also pivoted her coaching practice to coach dancers exclusively. Her podcast (“Ballroom State of Mind”) was reaching more and more dancers and helping them achieve success by letting go of so many things holding them back: comparison, negative self-talk, anxiety, pressure, perfectionism, overthinking, and more. One of the most exciting results was seeing her clients perform better than ever, making finals and placing higher than in previous years!
8. 2023: Dancing in Gold and chasing the trifecta
After winning Silver at OSB 2022, Amber started out 2023 considering what the year might look like. What would it take to achieve the trifecta? What if she could win Gold at OSB 2023? Is it possible to win Bronze, Silver, and Gold three years in a row? Only time would tell. But she decided she would do all she could during the year to get ready. Would they dance Gold? Open? Would they do new routines or simply morph what they had by incorporating some syllabus in Gold?
Amber and Mark worked hard, practiced, grew in partnering, stamina, and difficulty, and challenged themselves in new ways. It felt like they were competing every month, and it didn’t always go as well as she wanted, but they just kept going. They danced some Silver, Gold, and Open categories, making it a very eclectic year. Amber really noticed the difference doing more competitions made in her dancing and how quickly it progressed throughout the year.
The first national-level comp of 2023 did not come until the USDC. After placing 4th and 5th the previous year, she was excited to try again and see what results the Gold would bring.
8.1 USDC 2023
One must not believe the idea that if you cannot win in Silver, you certainly cannot win in Gold. A person’s skills, abilities, and mindset can change in a year.
It helped that Closed-Gold (B) only had a final, with four other couples – Amber and Mark won the title of National Champions!
This helped her feel like the trifecta at OSB 2023 could happen …
8.2 OSB 2023
Having won at the OSB for Closed-Bronze and Closed-Silver two years in a row, Amber believed she could win Closed-Gold. Like every other competition, anything can happen. In addition to her physical preparation, she gave special attention to her belief. She repeated things to herself, like, “I am totally capable of this. There is no reason you can’t win this. You have worked as hard as anyone. It is yours. It is your time. It is going to happen. You have already earned it, so let’s go pick it up.” She worked on feeling certainty and imagining herself dancing at her best and her name being called.
While she knew she could not control who her competitors would be, how the judges would mark everyone, and how it was always possible someone else could get it, she would not defeat herself ahead of time by telling herself to be realistic. She would be delusional just enough to believe she would do what possibly no one else had done before—Three wins, at three different levels, in three consecutive years!
The day before leaving for Ohio, she started generating a lot of gratitude and focusing on appreciation for life, dancing, all the people involved, and the relationships she had built over the years that shared her love for dancing. She thought about everything that must happen to provide this opportunity for a mom of four to do this. She decided she would win, but if she didn’t, she would be proud of herself. Her last thought before hitting the competition floor was: “Let’s just go and have the best time.”
Energy was high, competition was the best in the country – Amber and Mark pulled it off – They placed 1st in Closed-Gold Rhythm (B) and Open-Silver Rhythm (A), 2nd in Open Rising Star (A).
The trifecta became true!
Once again, she proved to herself that it is worthwhile to dream big. It is worthwhile not always to be realistic or talk yourself out of what might happen. What you think is impossible is just an idea you made up. Anything is possible if you keep moving forward and do not quit.
9. BoB – Best of the Best
OSB 2023 also marked the first time Amber competed in the BoB finale. Back in 2021, they won the BoB at Heritage but chose not to compete in the finale at OSB 2021. 2023 was the year they decided to compete. Throughout the year, Amber won the BoB three different times: She won in Rhythm and Nightclub at the DBDC (Boston) and then again in Rhythm at the Hawaii Star Ball.
They opted for a fun Hustle routine with a Queen of Hearts/Alice in Wonderland theme at the finale. They did not win any awards but finished with a respectable score of 95.1.
10. National awards
Amber worked hard and participated in 10 competitions in 2023. She entered Open categories in many of those competitions despite dancing Closed syllabus choreography. It paid off in many ways, but one side effect was that she ranked on two different National Ranking systems.
For the World Dancesport Series, Amber ranked #15 out of all Gold female students but was surprised to find that by the time OSB rolled around, she had moved into the first position for Open Multidance Rhythm and was the top student out of all male and female contenders! Receiving such a prestigious award at OSB 2023 in front of such a large crowd was certainly an honor!
The NDCA Premier National Ranking System had its inaugural year in 2023. For many months, Amber was in the second position and, at one point, was tied for second with two other dancers. After the final competition points were added in, she overtook the others and finished 1st by just four points.
The email notifying her of the result and an invitation to the Gala and awards ceremony felt like the icing on the cake for such a momentous year! Imagine: A National Championship title, the OSB trifecta, and not one, but TWO national rankings in the first place! She felt really lucky and blessed to have her hard work pay off. She knows that does not always happen, so she soaks it in when the opportunities arise.
11. Her proudest moment
Someone recently asked Amber what her proudest accomplishment of 2023 was. She could have said any one of the big wins mentioned earlier. But to her, the proudest accomplishment was who she became throughout the year. The most impactful experiences were the hardest to manage emotionally and did not result in wins.
There were a couple of competitions where Amber was stretched and challenged regarding her capabilities. Sometimes, she pushed herself to the edge and wanted to back out of events. After the results of some events felt like a gut punch, she had to spend some time nursing her wounds and tending to her bruised ego.
However, in those moments, she met new versions of herself. She did things she never thought she could do. She had hard experiences but did not quit, and carried on. Her self-concept changed – She not only upleveled in her dancing, but also in her resilience, grit, determination, and pride. One can have unexpected “failures” but actually walk away feeling stronger and more confident than ever.
12. Closing
Working really hard, having it pay off, experiencing a lot of winning…it’s fun. Anyone would say so. But the truth is that any of it can also feel empty. One cannot rely on the results to determine their happiness.
Amber creates goals. She works towards them, but her overarching goal is to exemplify what’s possible. She likes to look forward and think, “I wonder if I could do that.” Our minds like to look to the past to see what is possible. It is easy to believe we can do something after we have done it before. But to try to do something that we have never done, that maybe no one has done, is a true challenge. There is a real risk of failure and pain. But if one is willing to risk the failure and pain, we might witness something truly amazing on the other side of it.
One might think this is quite dramatic for a hobby like pro/am dancing. But this is not about dancing at all. It is about allowing the experiences you choose to change you along the way. For Amber, it is about who she becomes, the relationships she creates along the way, and the impact she manages to have on the world around her.
